Divorcing your spouse can be one of the most stressful events in your life. Some spouses split fairly amicably. Others are extremely difficult emotionally on one or both partners. If one member of the couple is abusive or refuses to cooperate with the legal side of the divorce, things can get complicated, stressful, and draining quickly.
In times this emotionally difficult, it can be hard to be as attentive to your children as you were before the divorce began. What some parents don’t realize is how difficult a divorce can be on the children of the couple. It can be difficult to shield your children from the messy emotional side of divorce; and with your own emotional resources drained, being there for your kids is hard.
While divorce is never easy, there are ways you can make it easier on yourself and your children. A few smart choices at the right time can help your children understand and accept what’s going on with minimal grief, protecting yourself and your family.
Choose Good Legal Representation
Going through a divorce with poor legal representation is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. Even if you and your spouse are splitting on good terms, you must protect yourself legally in a divorce. Your spouse may behave unpredictably during this emotional time, and the best thing for you and your children is to ensure you get the best legal counsel possible.
Tell Them What Is and Isn’t Going to Change
One of the scariest things to children during a divorce is their lack of control over the situation. A divorce is a matter between you and your former spouse that your children’s living conditions are controlled by. When children don’t know what to expect, they may begin to fear for the worst — and this kind of stress can do a lot of harm to a child’s health.
When explaining to your children that you and your spouse are splitting up, assure them that you both will still be their parents. Both of you will still love them as much as before, and what’s happening has nothing to do with their actions. If you’ve worked out a temporary custody deal with your spouse before you officially divorce, let your children know its details. If your children know what’s the come, they will worry less.
Trust Your Children
Even young children are capable of understanding a lot about the end of a relationship. It’s important to trust your children to respect you and your spouse. On the other side of the coin, it is very important to not tell your children too much about your divorce. Don’t ask them to choose sides.
You and your children can get through divorce healthily. Trust your intuition and your children’s feelings and you will find a way.