While many think that television is the root cause for dropping grades and increased difficulties dealing with students, others figure that television is the only thing preparing humanity to fight off an alien attack. Even a couple hours of Battlestar Galactica can increase someone’s air defense IQ and maybe even save their life…should the cylons revolt.
Whether we like it or not, an alien attack could be coming. And if we want to survive, we need to start learning how to survive – hopefully with them but also against them, if it comes to that. Fortunately, with higher education going online and a growing number of traditional courses, you can rack up tons of college credits to prepare for the inevitable alien invasion. Be prepared for the worst.
The Joy of Garbage at Santa Clara University
Surely, if aliens invade and successfully take over the world, then the human race will be scattered – scavengers on our home turf. With this class at Santa Clara University, you’ll be able to pick out the goodies from the chaff in the rubble.
Alien Sex at the University of Rochester
Let’s say that aliens really do look like the super soldiers from X-Files. Maybe inter-species breeding isn’t the worst idea after all…I mean, Adam Baldwin was a super soldier. This class at the University of Rochester takes a look at interplanetary sexual relations. Yeow, or is it, Meow?
It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) at Alfred University
Like the REM titling would suggest, It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) is a study of different apocalypse myths. Through literature and film, this class is the primer you’ll need to get a sense of what happens at the end of the things. Definitely a necessity for keeping your cool in the face of oblivion.
UFOs in American Society at Temple University
Learning from history’s mistakes is the first step to avoiding making the same mistakes again. By studying UFO controversy and alien invasion in popular media, students can learn strategies for coping with alien invasion in the future.
Invented Languages: Klingon and Beyond at the University of Texas at Austin
We may be able to avert our likely demise by adjusting to alien language, rather than expecting them to learn ours (hubris, much?). By studying linguistic patterns of constructed languages like Klingon, students gain the basic strategies needed for language acquisition. I’m not saying that Klingons exist. That’s a fairy tale.
Tree Climbing at Cornell University
It might be time to go off the grid. Living in tree houses and drinking rain water might not have an Independence Day mystique about it, but this survivalist class at Cornell makes students nimble as monkeys, ready to escape into heavy foliage if, and when, necessary.
Introduction to Emergency Communication at The National Association for Amateur Radio
If science fiction has taught us anything, it’s that when aliens arrive, they’ll try to take out basic infrastructure first. Forget about your 4G network. When you’re trying to get ahold of other alien-fighters, it’s going to be all ham radio, all the time. Bust out your alpha-bravo-charlie, because emergency communication just became your number one communication standard.
Sorry to bear the baton of bad news, but if aliens do visit, in all likelihood they will wipe us out before asking the time of day. But just in case they miss a few of us, with the proper education, maybe we won’t die out because we’ve grown soft and cuddly. Study up, boys and girls. The little green men are coming, and not to a theater near you.