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6. Ellen Page

You might have forgotten about her role in Juno by now, but I have not. She
epitomized the generic hipster saying the most ironic things such as “I gotta pee like
Sea Biscuit”…Sea biscuits racehorse she has to pee like a racehorse…Brilliant. Great
work Ellen, good luck accepting calls on that not-a-big-deal hamburger telephone
that you probably spent hours tracking down on eBay.

5. Sharks

Shark week’s coming up pretty soon, so you better get a punch in before they
start attacking

4. Apple Store Employees

Don’t get me wrong…I loved Captain Planet. But that was a TV show. I never
expected I’d have to live in a world of it.

3. Taboo

What does this guy do in the Black Eyed Peas? I don’t even like the band, but this
guy needs to stop getting roles in Street Fighter sequels. Vega used to be my favorite

2. Flo

I recently caved in and paid Pandora the $36 for a years worth of shutting up
Flo, that chick from the Progressive Ads. She was kinda quirky and fun for the first 3
ads or so, but I gradually got flo-verloaded to the point of insanity…

1. Grizzly Bears

Colbert’s right. These bastards are out to get us…


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