If you watch any amount of TV, especially any sports, I’m sure you’ve seen the Taco Bell commercial for the $.89 Beefy 5-Layer Burrito where a Jon Gruden looking patron asks to order from Denise. I personally have never seen a more stunning Taco Bell employee than Denise and frankly if my local TB did have someone working there that looked like her I would look like this.
I keep seeing this commercial and thinking how gorgeous she is. Anyways, it got me wondering who this Denise chick was, turns out she’s been on TV a little in 8 Simple Rules, Even Stevens and a few others. There is a good interview with her at Thunder Treats and you can see her IMDB here.
Set the scene: it is the morning after a typical …
This place is BAWLIN’ yo. Chicken nuggitz be crispy like you never SEEN. I tasted one and I was like “WHAAAAT! Are you serious Wendy?” Mean girls workin the friers, tho. This one chick wouldn’t even let me holla. I was like “please you ugly anyway.”
In an amazing feat this 3-year-old Indianapolis Colts fan rattles almost the entire roster practically flawlessly, given just the jersey number, 58 names in a row. L.J. not only lists the starting players but also all players on the injured reserve and even 4th string QB Drew Willy.
Wearing a #44 Dallas Clark jersey, the thing that really gets me is that he obviously has his favorites as he states them a little more familiarly, “Addai!!!” “Freeney” and he’s on a first name basis with “Peyton!” and “Reggie.” This kid must be one of the most hardcore fans I’ve ever seen. Obviously his parents put a lot of emphasis on what’s important in life. Makes me wonder if this is the Indianapolis Colts or the Cults.
And I couldn’t understand what he said at the end but a commenter mentioned that it might be “Can I have some M&Ms?” That sounds about right to me…now we know the motivation. It does look like he’s about to grab something on the floor…sweet candy. Scroll past the video for a transcript.
“LJ learned the entire Colts roster at the age of 3. He loves the Colts! He eats, sleeps, and breathes Colts football. If we are not watching them on tv we are playing catch while he reenacts plays from the last game.”
Mom – “What’s you name?”
A.J. – “A.J.”
Mom – “How old are you?
A.J. – “3″
Mom – “How old?”
A.J. – “3″
Mom – “K, who’s your favorite team?”
A.J. – “Colts”
Mom – “K, you ready to do our Colts numbers?”
A.J. – “Yeah”
Mom – “K”
A.J. – “(94) Ervin Baldwin, (67) Tony Ugoh, (7) Curtis Painter, (23) Tim Jennings, (40) Jamie Silva..Ahhh (48) Justin Snow, (68), Eric Foster, (3) Matt Stover, (45) De’von Hall, (50) Philip Wheeler, (16) Drew Willy, (63) Jeff Saturday, (1) Pat McAfee, (74) Charlie Johnson, (61) Jamey Richard, (27) Jacob Lacey, (93) Freeney, (32) Mike Hart, (65) Ryan Lilja, (29) Addai!!!, (90) Daniel Muir, (71) Ryan Diem, (85) Pierre Garcon, (81) Hank Baskett, (98) Robert Mathis, (25) Jerraud Powers, (86) Tom Santi, (78) Mike Pollak, (87) Reggie, (17) Collie, (11) Gonzalez, (58) Gary Brackett, (99) Antonio Johnson, (18) Peyton, (44) Dallas Clark, (33) Melvin Bullitt, (20) T.J. Rushing, (55) Clint Session, (52) Cody Glenn, (96) Keyunta Dawson, (4) Matt S….mmm…Adam Vinatieri, (95) Fili Moala, (69) John Gill, (35) Chad Simpson, (79) Raheem Brock, (54) Freddy Keiaho, (12) Tim Sorji, (31) Donald Brown, (28) Marlin Jackson, (43) Aaron Francisco, (21) Bob Sanders, (66) Kyle DeVan, (47) Gijon Robinson, (41) Antoine Bethea, (84) Jacob Tamme, (59) Ramon Humber, (26) Kelvin Hayden”
Mom – “Nice job!”
A.J. – “Can I have some M&Ms?”
“Hello my name is Double Sausage Egg ‘N’ Cheese Biscuit, I am the child of Hardee’s. I tip the scale at 830 calories and I’m proud of it. You can take me home for $2.39 and if you’d like me to bring some friends, hashbrowns and a drink, it’ll be $4.09. My little brother only has one sausage patty, what a wuss. I’m twice as meaty and twice as delicious. I’m only going to be in your area for a limited time so you might want to take advantage of all my splendor while you can. I am what makes this nation great America, embrace me in all my deliciousness. I give you the approval to refer to me as Morning Glory if you like.”
Ever have a hard time proving to someone that you’re a virgin… you know, at sex? Of course, we all have. Well, thank god there’s finally a way to prove it once and for all. Best part is, you can get certified as a virgin for as low as $1.00. Not bad, eh? So head on over to Certified Virgin to get your virginity on!
HAMMER GOLF VIDEO [Craftman Labs YouTube]
The 6 Most Half Assed Attempts at Corporate Green Washing [Cracked]
Pucker Up [JPapaPNP Flickr]
Cheeto Conan O’Brien A True Work Of Art [Daily Fork]
Best Frozen Buffalo Wings [Slashfood]
Catcher In The Rye Covers Through The Years [Newsweek]
German Miracle Parking Video [College Humor]
Why A Man Plays Mario [Kotaku]
30 Captivating Fire Dancing Photos [Hongkait]
Self Produced Animation Video [Daily Espresso]
Prank Call Of The Week: Nigerian Man Gets Fresh Princed On Christian TV! [YouTube]
The Hottest Women on Wheels Leads The P.M. Portfolio [Uncoached]
First Date Bingo [Holy Taco]
Pillow Fort Dog is Happy with His Defense [Fork Party]
Sexy Girls In Pigtails 2 [COED Magazine]
7 Stages of a Breakup [Guyism]
I enjoy searching Twitter with weird strings and seeing what comes up. Here are a few good ones using “I probably shouldn’t”
MVANARS1 Had a parent/teacher conf 2day for 10. I didnt realize she had such a striking teacher. I probably shouldn’t have called her sugarbritches.
umbrellaboy Tweet #900: I have acne on my cheek, it is fun to play. But I probably shouldn’t.
hokeblurbs I probably shouldn’t be having this second gargantuan Iron Man Slurpee cup full of coffee, but I’m going to anyway.
iGo2Far I probably shouldn’t eat this after having just finished off a cream cheese danish…but I’ll just deal w/ the aftermath later.
nickmcgee1 Pain in my gut for the past day. What the heck is going on down there? I probably shouldn’t have eaten that 5 LB Gummy Bear…
AscentofaKing I probably shouldn’t have bought that shirt…but once it arrives Ima be glad I did…
copperlegend RIP pyrex mixing bowl. You served me well, and I probably shouldn’t have perched you so precariously on top of the fridge.
arisoncain I probably shouldn’t have just thought “i hope no one tries to change it from vh1′s top 100 rap songs to the state of the union address”
MacGourley better than me temporarily ignoring the recession to masturbate to the Legends Class Devastator that I probably shouldn’t buy.
jondotdavidson I wouldn’t mind having a robot around the house! But I probably shouldn’t tell Will Smith, he’d be so angry and disappointed with me…
ShiversTheNinja I think I probably shouldn’t be cursing in frustration when playing Neopets games. “FUCK!” doesn’t seem appropriate for a kids’ website.
deadcherries halfway to work I decided I probably shouldn’t be driving. This message brought to you by Sudafed, Benadryl, Ativan, Trileptal and Zyrtec.
In the words of DEM FRANCHIZE BOYZ, “Gangstas dont dance they lean wit it rock wit it,” and that’s true about this homeless guy who is obviously leaning with it and is a complete gangster. In fact, he’s more than a gangster since he can lean wit it in his sleep, we call that a straight G.
In possibly the greatest video I’ve seen today, in all it’s glory, the World Gravy Wresting Championship. Held each year in Lancashire, UK. This wonderful example of how far we’ve come as homosapiens, pits two individuals against each other in a pool filled with beef gravy and vegetable stock.