This past Saturday two nemesaries squared off in a gastronomical challenge for the ages. On one side there was the ever feared Red Beard, standing at 6’3″ and weighing in at a measly 350 lbs. On the other side we have the snappy Flacco Libre standing a mere 6’0″ and weighing in at a lofty 128 lbs. There could not be another diametrically opposed duo to battle it out at the table than these two.

After much smack talk back and forth between the contestants about who could eat more (obviously everyone and their mother would give odds to Red Beard), they came to the conclusion that pizza would be the most enjoyable to them. The challenge would be held at the wonderful Ledo Pizza in Seabrook.

The folks at Ledo Pizza advocated this tremendous event by offering to supply the brave with two large pizzas to tackle in under one hour. The pizzas would each have 2 toppings…their choices…Red Beard went with double pepperoni on both (cooked crisp)…whice Flacco Libre attempted to be more tactical in his approach, he divided his in half going with a 1/2 Hawaiian, 1/2 chicken & onion and the other 1/2 sausage & mushroom, 1/2 pepperoni & olive.

The pizzas came out piping hot and delicious. The battle was to commence. The two gave each other a nod and dug in. Within the first 15 minutes the two were neck and neck and going strong. They occasionally would give a verbal jab here and there showing their confidence. Which would come out on top?

Slowly, against all known odds, Flacco Libre began to to take a lead. Flacco was maintaing a steady pace as Red Beard began to slow slightly. Red Bread pushed through a wall but again started to slow. Leaning back, he contemplated whether or not he could continue. This was at the 30 minute mark and just under 1 full large pizza. He decided to step outside and ponder his stomach capacity over a smooth cigarette.

Meanwhile, Flacco Libre soldiered on…chomping his way onto the second of his larges. He was still going stong when Red Beard returned to the dining room. Eying how far his combatant was into the second pizza and looking at how much more he had to consume he made the wise decision to throw in the red table cloth. Flacco Libre had easily, and by a wide margin, defeated the once unbeatable Red Beard.

At this point the Great Flacco Libre still had roughly 17 slices left if he were to consume the entire 2 larges (Red Beard ended with a total of 28 eaten). Would he continue on even after defeating his enemy? To give it a moment, he walked next door where he was treated to an ice cream as a reward by his counterpart. After consuming the ice cream he garnered a second wind of the tastes buds (after eating so much of a single item this helped apparently) be continued to eat another 7 slices bringing his total consumed to 50…beating Red Bread by a whopping 22 slices!

Could he have finished the entire 2 pizzas? Flacco Libre claims that he could do it no problem and only stopped because there was no further incentive. He had clearly demolished his opponent. Others claim that he was using that as an excuse and wasn’t able to stomach on…but will the world ever know…we wait with wet lips.

Thanks again to Ledo Pizza located at 9454 Lanham Severn Road in Lanham, MD 20706. If you’re looking for some awesome pizza be sure to head over there. You can order ahead by calling them at (301) 577-5550‎. Even though we ate enough pizza to capsize a boat…I’m still already craving it again.


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  • RaraAvis says:

    I think it was the pepperoni. With a high fat content it takes too long to digest. What is it with skinny guys who can eat a lot?