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“Hello my name is Double Sausage Egg ‘N’ Cheese Biscuit, I am the child of Hardee’s. I tip the scale at 830 calories and I’m proud of it. You can take me home for $2.39 and if you’d like me to bring some friends, hashbrowns and a drink, it’ll be $4.09. My little brother only has one sausage patty, what a wuss. I’m twice as meaty and twice as delicious. I’m only going to be in your area for a limited time so you might want to take advantage of all my splendor while you can. I am what makes this nation great America, embrace me in all my deliciousness. I give you the approval to refer to me as Morning Glory if you like.”

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